H AZE L N OOT
H AZE L N OOT
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What's your biggest fear ?
the asthetic of a damsel in bloom Answer:
AND AFTER I EXPLAIN WHY, THEY GONNA BE URS TOO
THERE R 3 IN THE WORLD BUT IM GONNA FOCUS ON THE YELLOWSTONE ONE BC IT’S CLOSEST TO ME AND ALSO IS MOST LIKELY TO ERUPT SOONEST
BASICALLY, FORGET UR MENTAL IMAGE OF A TYPICAL VOLCANO. THIS AINT NO CUTESY SCIENCE FAIR CONE SHIT. THIS MOTHERFUCKER TAKES UP THREE STATES AND SITS UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE………LIKE SOMETHING DANGEROUS……THAT STAYS UNDERGROUND. LIKE A GROUNDHOG. BUT DEADLY. LIKE A DEADLY GROUNDHOG.
OK SO THIS BRUH JUST CHILLS THERE TAKING UP HUNDREDS OF SQUARE MILES OF UNDERGROUND AMERICA ALRIGHT?? AND ITS LITERALLY RISING AT A RATE OF SIX INCHES A YEAR. THATS BULLSHIT SPEED. MOUNTAINS DONT EVEN RISE SIX MILLIMETRES A YEAR AND THOSE ARE GODDAMN MOUNTAINS. THIS FUCKER IS SERIOUS.
SO WHY IS THAT SO SCARY, HUH???? JUST SOME SHIT RISIN UP A BIT??? NO, MOTHERFUCKER. THIS SHIT COULD ERUPT AT LITERALLY ANY MOMENT WITHOUT NOTICE. NOTHIN. NO WARNING SIGNS. IT COULD LITERALLY JUST EXPLODE AT ANY FUCKING SECOND.
AND WHEN IT DOES, THATS THE FUN BIT. BASICALLY, IF YOU LIVE IN THE CENTRAL USA, YOURE LUCKY, BECAUSE YOU GET INSTANT DEATH BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HITS YOU. WYOMING, IDAHO, COLORADO, MONTANA, UTAH, ETC. UR DEAD WITHIN SECONDS BECAUSE THE GROUND UNDER YOUR FEET WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE AND INSTANTLY KILL YOU. IF YOU LIVE FURTHER AWAY IN NORTH AMERICA, THATS THE WORST. I LIVE IN THE WORST POSSIBLE PLACE FOR THIS SHIT. IF YOURE A FEW HUNDRED MILES AWAY, THATS THE SCARIEST, BECAUSE YOU WILL DIE, AND PAINFULLY, BUT YOULL KNOW IT’S COMING AND YOU CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT. WHERE I LIVE, I’LL GET ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF WARNING. AN HOUR AND A HALF TO LITERALLY SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE I LOVE, BECAUSE THEN THE PYROCLASTIC FLOW WILL BE HERE AND SCORCH EVERYONE TO DEATH. THERES NO GETTING AWAY. IF YOURE IN NORTH AMERICA, YOURE FUCKING DEAD, NO MATTER WHAT, WITHIN HOURS.
AND IF YOU LIVE IN CHINA OR ENGLAND OR SOME SHIT YOURE PROBABLY LIKE “WHATEVER, LATER LOSERS, WE FINE”
EVEN IF THE RESULTING TSUNAMIS AND STORMS AND EARTHQUAKES AND HUGELY RISING SEA LEVELS DONT FUCK YOU OVER, NUCLEAR WINTER SURE WILL
WHATS NUCLEAR WINTER, YOU ASK? WELL LEMME FUCKIN TELL U, SHORT STACK. THATS WHEN THE VOLCANIC ASH BLOTS OUT THE SUN AND CAUSES THE TEMPERATURE TO DROP THIRTY-ODD DEGREES CELSIUS. FOR 12 YEARS. STRAIGHT. ALL OVER THE PLANET. NO SUNLIGHT, PERPETUAL SNOW, PERMANENT COLD. EVERYWHERE. THAT MEANS NO HYDROELECTRIC POWER, NO NATURAL GAS, NO CROPS OR FARMING OR LIVESTOCK OR FOOD PRODUCTION. HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKERS. I WASNT KIDDING WHEN I SAID THE PEOPLE WHO DIE INSTANTLY ARE LUCKY.
BY THE WAY, IN CASE UR CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITY TO SURVIVE NUCLEAR WINTER - DONT BE. THAT SHITS WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS. NOT THE METEOR IMPACT, NAH THEY WAS FINE FOR THAT SHIT. IT WAS NUCLEAR WINTER THAT KILLED MILLIONS OF SPECIES OF DINOS. GOOD LUCK.
DID I MENTION THERES THREE OF THEM AROUND THE WORLD?? ???? DID I MENTION NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHEN THEYRE GOING TO ERUPT?? DID I MENTION THEY GIVE NO WARNING???? ???? AND THEY COULD FEASIBLY ERUPT AT ANY MOMENT????
I WARNED U THIS SHIT WOULD FUCK U UP MAN I FUCKIN WARNED YOU GOD DAMN I NEED 2 SIT DOWN
alright now i used to hate pitbull because it seemed like the right thing to do but you know what i never hear him doing fucked up shit. as far as i know he is really just out there living life ,enjoying himself, visiting walmarts, and spreading the cubano party into the hearts of everyone around the world, he is mr. world wide and hes having a blast and i respect and love that pitbull. pitbull if youre reading this thank you and im sorry
going through my old sketchbooks thinking like when did I stop making actual art? now I just draw things I think people will like.
art should engage and challenge. I gotta work on that.
Mallory Ortberg has a voice like an old movie actress. (“Male Novelist Jokes” at the Last Bookstore in LA)
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that Mallory Ortberg is one of the funniest writers alive, and a wonderful entertainer.
What are you paying for? If it’s for an item that is physically being shipped to you, then by all means continue!
But if it is for digital art, please reconsider!
This means that paypal is expecting me to ship a physical item to you!
And the more times that I receive money for goods, and do not ship through them, the more it counts against me.
Too many and paypal can elect to hold my funds for thirty days every time I receive them, until it reevaluates my account.
Which means while the customer has their deserved art, I do not technically have money yet.
So PLEASE always send payment for digital art via SERVICES and not GOODS!
(you can get a refund if need be just as easily by selecting services as you can goods!)
Please read this!
I think my House knows I’m leaving because the dryer is not functioning properly and I’m clumping around in my heavy-duty docs due to having already stubbed my toes 3 times today.
I will miss you too, House.